Monday, February 27, 2017

Things You Hear When You're Young (Looking) and Pregnant

No matter what age you are when and if you decide to get pregnant, it seems like there's never a shortage of advice from anyone and everyone who may have had a child, thought about having a child, or saw a child do something somewhere once.

Just when I think I've heard it all in these last seven and a half months, someone surprises me by saying something about my pregnancy or life thereafter that I couldn't ever fathom saying to another human being.

I try to take everything with a grain of salt, as I'm aware that most of the advice comes from a place of sincerity (although sometimes maybe more from a place of having no social filter). Occasionally, when I listen closely I even hear something helpful and I hold onto those little pieces for dear life and stash them away somewhere so I can pull them out again later when the time comes. 

Unfortunately for me, the fact that I look like a pregnant teenager has brought with it a whole slew of dirty looks, questions, and judgments that for me there's really been no way around. I can't magically transform myself to look like the almost twenty-five year old person I'll soon be. Most days, I don't have the desire (or energy) to wear any makeup which only further's any suspicions that I'm actually only 14 years old and having a baby. 

There are a few things I've heard plenty of times already, and I thought I'd share them here with you. If only to make you think twice before saying the same things to any other pregnant people...although specifically the ones who look like babies themselves. 

Everyone wants to know if I'm sure I'm ready for this. As if somehow, at seven and a half months pregnant I could just decide that I don't want to do it anymore and everything would just go back to the way that it was. What most of these people don't know is that we actively made the choice to bring a child into this world, so I think were as ready as any other first time parents. 

Everyone has an opinion on if I should have waited longer before trying to have a child, or if now is the right time. This advice started before I ever got pregnant. I feel like everyone wanted to know when and if we were going to be having kids. But now, this has gotten even weirder. A guy just the other day told me how great it was that I was having a child so young because now, more than ever, my body has everything it can give to a baby and according to him, it will give everything. But, he did reassure me that because of this, my first child will have the highest IQ of any of my other possible future children, and I should really put the extra effort into her when she gets here...forget about the rest. Now I'm no scientist...but I don't think that's the way that it works. I did happily text my younger sibling to tell her why I'm so much smarter than she is, though ;) 

Everyone wants to know if I did this or that before getting pregnant. Usually this has something to do with school. Someone actually asked if I was going to finish high school first. I think this totally goes with the looking young problem. People naturally assume that since I look young, then I must have given up on other important things in my life prior to getting pregnant, as if there were anything  wrong with wanting to be a mom over anything else. I'm usually quick to flash my wedding ring at them, and I've even thought about framing my college diploma to put on my desk at work. Not that it's any of their business, but come on people. 

I hear a lot about how my days of "fun" are over, and that I should get used to worrying all the time instead. These types of comments usually come from men. Women are more likely to tell me how wonderful it will be and how rewarding being a parent is, while men want to tell me that they hope I had fun while I had the chance because those days are now over. Clearly our definitions of fun differ, but it is what it is. 

Lots of people have an opinion on what will happen to my body once the baby has arrived. These comments kill me. I would never make any comments to another woman about the shape of her body, baby or no baby. But for some reason everyone, and I mean everyone (I'm talking to you, men of the world) wants to tell me their opinion on how my body will be after the baby. This is the only time that looking young while pregnant seems to be benefiting me because most people feel the need to tell me that my body will probably go back to the way that it was pre-baby. At this point, who knows what will happen. 

As fun as all these comments have been, I can only imagine it will get worse once the baby arrives. I've already thought about what will happen once I take her out with my parents (who are also very young looking) and people naturally assume that she's their baby instead of my own. Aren't other people's opinions fun? 

Did you have any of these problems? What are some of the weirdest comments you've gotten while pregnant? 
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2 comments:

  1. Please listen to me that when I say your days of fun ARE NOT over! Our daughter has added to our fun and has been the greatest joy. Don't change your life for your kids, just incorporate them into it. :)

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    Replies
    1. I know! I can't wait for all the adventures and fun to come once she gets here! :)

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