Strong Bonds Retreat

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Over the weekend Daniel and I attended a military couples retreat. It has become surprisingly difficult for me to share all of the things that we learned without getting too personal into our relationship, but I still wanted to try to share a few things. We started the weekend with something called the "Relationship Attachment Model". This model had six sections: know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. We began the weekend by rating our own relationships on the scale of each section. After we did so, we used each individual course to discuss the different sections in more detail.

For example, the "know" section was plain and simple, how well you know your spouse. In other words, are you truly friends? We learned a not so surprising fact that the average couple spends less then four minutes a day talking to each other with no distractions including from technology, friends or children. The "trust" section focused on our attitudes towards one another. How much we trust the other person to do the things we ask them, etc. It is much easier in any relationship to focus on the negative things that your significant other does. In doing so, however, you are overlooking all of the positive things. We discussed the importance of understanding our own shortcomings, reminding ourselves of the accomplishments of our significant others, and then matching our attitudes to those positive thoughts. The "rely" section was the section that I personally struggle with the most. Relying on one another is something that should come naturally, but with a military relationship that forces us to spend so much time apart, it becomes essential that we can rely on ourselves as individuals as well. I have always been a more independent person and I am working hard to rely on my spouse, as I know he will always be there to support me. The next sections we discussed was "commit". In my own relationship, commitment to each other is something we never have, and never will struggle with. However, we do have commitments outside of our relationship that can put stress on us such as school and work. Finally, the last section we talked about was "touch" which should be pretty self-explanatory. The rest of the weekend we were allowed to take to just spend time together. At the Great Wolf Lodge we spent time in the lazy river, in the jacuzzi and in the wave pools.

The weekend as a whole was very eye opening. We learned things about ourselves and about each other, and things that will help us to grow together. I went into the weekend with a somewhat negative attitude about how things would go, but was pleasantly surprise by everything we learned. I would suggest to anyone who has the opportunity to attend to take full advantage of an event like this, it was really beneficial.

1 comment

  1. It really is amazing how much you can learn about each other in a marriage retreat, they are definitely beneficial. :) So glad you enjoyed it!


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