Long Distance Love

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Daniel and I have had an unconventional marriage to say the least. We’ve been married for over two years now, but all together have only gotten to spend give or take seven months of that time together, with an extra weekend here or there thrown in. Now that we’re together again for the summer, it makes me question how we ever got through the separation. I would be lying if I said it was easy. We sometimes fought over the smallest details, but both of us were always humble enough to remind ourselves that we were fighting for our situation, and it was not a reflection of our marriage.  I would never recommend a long distance marriage to anyone, because honestly who wouldn't want to be with their spouse as much as possible? but on the off chance you ever find yourself in the same situation, here are some tips to help make sure your marriage still thrives.

Always support each other. I support the fact that right now, Daniel’s place is in the army. Sometimes this means coming second to his job, which is a hard adjustment to make. At the same time, he supports the fact that I need to be home to finish my schooling, which sometimes means that our marriage comes second to my school schedule. No matter what, we support each other and understand that we're ultimately doing something that will benefit our future together.

Never stop dating. Even if this means setting aside time to Facetime on a Sunday afternoon. Daniel and I tried to video chat at least once a week around our busy schedules. We also chose a book to read together. Every week we read a chapter and then discussed it at the end of the week sharing our thoughts on what we read.

Make time for each other. For us, this meant visiting each other at least once a month. Although my school schedule was busy, I was able to find at least one three day weekend a month that would allow me to fly out to see Daniel. We even chose to take this time to explore new places like New Orleans.

Don’t forget to still make time for yourself. This one might sound a little weird. You might be thinking, you’re living separately; don’t you have plenty of time to yourself? But what I mean by this is that it’s easy to get caught up in feeling the need to stay home and talk with each other at all hours of the day. But it’s still important to get together with friends and family and to do stuff that you enjoy separately.

If you have a problem, talk it through. What else can you do when all you can do is talk? When I have a problem I usually try to separate myself from the issue altogether rather than deal with it head on. This is something I work on every day. When you are apart, it’s easy to hang up a phone and pretend a problem doesn’t exist. But force yourself to talk about it so you can get past it.

Never stop trying. No one is going to work on your marriage for you. It’s up to you to work as a team. Don’t forget the love, and don’t forget the fact that eventually the separation will be through and you two will finally be together for good.

Don't take things too seriously. It's easy to turn something small into something big. Try not to. Keep a sense of silliness in your marriage and in your attitude. Being married is, and should be, fun! 

These are all tips that are beneficial in all relationships, not just long distance. Daniel and I are attending a military couples retreat in Virginia this weekend, which is meant to help strengthen our marriage. No matter how strong your relationship may be, I believe there is always room for growth. I can’t wait to share what I learn with you all!

Happy Thursday!


  1. I think all of these tips are extremely beneficial, some people forget these things even if they have lived with their significant other all of the relationship.

  2. Great post! I was thinking of doing that with B, reading/watching the same show at the same time while he's at sea just so it's not always a lopsided conversation. But yes, these tips need to be practiced always!


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