Why getting married young was the right choice for me

Saturday, March 14, 2015

I am twenty-two years old and in less then three weeks, I will be celebrating my second wedding anniversary {what did she just say}. To say that people react negatively uncomfortably to this would be an understatement. Usually, when I tell people that I’m married, I get a mix of reactions. First and foremost people always want to know my age and when I tell anyone I’m in my 20’s that’s often more surprising to them then the fact that I’m married in the first place. It used to bother me that I look so young. Most conversations surrounding my age end in me swearing that no, I’m not 15, I promise. I’m sure I’ll feel much better about it when I’m older, but for now I’ll continue to play that game at the carnival where they try to guess my age. They’re almost always wrong, and I usually get a prize. I swear I’m not bitter. Anyways, back to the point of this post. Not only did I get married young, but also my husband and I are currently living in two states on opposite sides of the country. I know how crazy this sounds and when this part of my relationship story comes up, I get one of two reactions. People either look at me with sad puppy dogs, as if they feel sorry for me for some unexplainable reason. Or they look at me like they know my marriage will never work in a million years and I might as well get out early. However, Daniel and I have placed an incredible amount of trust in one another, and although this may be scary at times neither of us has ever given the other a reason to worry. 

When I was first planning my wedding, I actually had someone I considered a very close friend tell me that she would be surprised if we ever made it to our two-year anniversary, some days I’d like to call her up and give her a nice “ha, proved you wrong” but I’m bigger then that…on most days. Our living situation is somewhat out of our control. Daniel is stationed in North Carolina, with zero ability to change his current status there. I, with somewhat more control, am living with my family in California while I finish up school. I know many people don’t agree with this decision of mine because, “why wouldn’t I want to live with my husband?” But our decisions are made in the best interest of our future, even if this means that we sacrifice a little in the beginning. I am one year from graduating college and I have put in too much work to simply let that go. I met Daniel and our relationship was a whirlwind of emotions, love, separation, hard work, and adventure. We’ve survived, and enjoyed many aspects of living together, living apart, deployment, and all the things in between.

I think that sometimes people forget that years ago people got married at a young all the time. They understood that relationships took hard work, and when they found that one special person, they were willing to go through every obstacle necessary to stay together. Military relationships were exceptionally difficult during World War II, when women went months without any word as to whether their husbands were even alive. Thank goodness for technology today, I couldn’t even imagine not having the ability to talk on a regular basis. In this moment, aside from my parents who are going on 20 years of marriage, we are the strongest couple that I know, and despite the hardships I wouldn’t want to spend a day without speaking to my best friend. 

We get to run the whole course from young and stupid to old and wise together. We may not have it all figured out, but we’ve got a lifetime to work on it, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

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