Waiting Game

Thursday, March 19, 2015

I feel like I’m constantly waiting for something. Right now I’m waiting for Friday's because with 18.5 credits this semester, my school weeks seem never-ending. I’m waiting for April because Daniel and I finally get to enjoy a much needed weekend getaway after six long weeks apart. I’m waiting for summer because I’ll be one step closer to graduation and I’ll spend the summer exploring the East Coast with Daniel when he has long weekends. And I’m waiting for the end of the year because Daniel will be, after three hard years, back home in California for good.

With our separation, it’s hard to not fantasize about the future. We will finally both be home in a place we love. We will be surrounded by family, and we won’t constantly be on our toes anticipating the next time we have to say goodbye. There will be no more airport drop offs and no more frustration because what we want more than anything is to be together.

In all my waiting I feel like I am missing out. I go through the daily motions but I feel like I’m not always taking advantage of all of the things I am so grateful for. My days consist of waking up at 5:30 and being miserable from the second I get in the car for my hour commute. By the time I get home at 9:30 at night (on Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s) I am mentally and physically drained and I immediately crawl into bed and get to sleep. The things I don’t think about are the fact that I go to an amazing university. I take classes that although they may seem tough now, leave me feeling confident that I will be prepared for a job after school. I have the most supportive family and best friends who constantly make sure I never feel lonely even with Daniel so far away.

I’ve realized that life is passing me by. I need to embrace the stressful moments because in the long run, it will be more then worth all the work I am putting in now and I think I’ll appreciate the easy times that much more. I need to make the most of the fact that despite the separation, Daniel and I get the chance to become stronger then any other couple we know. I have so many I enjoy doing, and this blog is quickly becoming one of those things. I think that while I have all this “waiting” time, I should be taking advantage of every moment and truly doing things that make me happy, because that can’t wait.

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